Then it was Noon

So I woke up on Wednesday morning knowing that if my feet hit the floor I was going to end up standing in a cemetery at 12 noon. My feet did touch the floor even if I don't remember it happening because I did stand in a cemetery at 12 noon on Wednesday, January 13, 2010.

Much to my surprise, and as sad as I had anticipated 12 noon to be, my heart laughed.

You might think that sounds crazy but if you knew my friend it would

make perfect sense.

What was so funny you might be wondering? Classic Francine.... thats what was so funny. We had not even arrived to the cemetery entrance and "classic Francine" was already in motion. Who else would have the road almost completely blocked with huge round hay bales that had fallen off of someones trailer? We literally had to drive through the hay to get to the cemetery. Classic Francine... made me laugh really hard.

Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman were sitting all around. She would have been so proud of the simplistic beauty her family chose. It was so Francine.

As the minister spoke a favorite scripture passage laughter broke out between 3 beautiful daughters that knew "laying down in green pastures" was indeed what was taking place before our very eyes. Barn to the right... hayfield to the left.. and a tractor in sight. Hard as she might have tried Zsa Zsa just couldn't get away from the farm. My heart had to join in the laughter.

There are only a select few women in the world that would find it completely appropriate to discuss their bosom as they are being laid to rest. Classic Francine. This woman did not find it necessary to carry a purse every where she went because sometimes it was just not convenient. And why in the world would you always carry a purse when you have two wonderful compartments attached to you at all times? Lipstick? Check... Compact? Check... Need a pen? Check...Something to write on? Check.... and for goodness sake don't be alarmed if you are walking through the mall and someones bosom starts to ring just to discover your friend whipping out her cell phone! Check.... You beginning to see why I said there was much laughter?

Story after story could be told about this woman and her "inviting breasts" as the minister said. I had to laugh because as I stood there arm in arm with her husband and he laughed I knew we could have told boob stories all day long.

Classic Francine.

Did somebody remember to call OnStar? Francine traveled with her job across most of the state of AR. There are places, that believe it or not, phone reception is not the greatest. If she happen to travel upon such a spot and there was no one to talk to OnStar was the next best thing. Yes they help you out when you lock your keys in your car or get lost and need directions or have an accident and need assistance but I bet you didn't know if you just needed someone to talk to when your phone wouldn't let you call your best friend they provide that service as well. Maybe not to everyone... but they did for my friend. You might try it but I can't promise you will be in the same exclusive club as she was in. More often than not Francine was the exception to every rule. :)

I must believe in my heart that at the noon hour on January 13th, 2010 she smiled and said, "Wow the whole fam-damly showed up! Must be a party!

What's for lunch?"

It Becomes Real

Today it became more real. Less than 100 hours ago I was holding the hand of my very best friend and saying goodbye. I don't mean saying goodbye as in she boarded a plane or took off driving down the road in her caddy. Not that kind of goodbye I'm so sad to say.

It was the kind of goodbye where you watch a husband and children whom you love deeply experience the most horrible pain one could imagine. Dear friends stand in total disbelief listening to Doctors and prayers and machines. Were it not for my husbands arms surrounding me the floor could have opened up and swallowed me.

Its the same beautiful soft hand I have held hundreds of times before. Never have I known anyone with such soft and gentle hands.

What a blessing to have known the touch of these hands.

A woman with a new baby could not get within 10 feet of these hands before they would be outstretched and grabbing to take hold and count fingers and toes.

These hands love cheeks... especially chubby ones they could pinch and then share a kiss with. Countless tears were wiped away by these hands, mine included, more times than I can count.

It would be easier to list what these hands didn't do than to try and describe all the love they brought to so many lives.

They made the best potato salad in the world, picked up the dry cleaning, made yummy pancakes for breakfast, loved to iron clothes, ( that one was always foreign to me) wrote beautiful notes in cards, dialed a million zillion numbers on cell phones, tracked every step in a day planner, bathed and cared for those unable to care for themselves, prayed for those in need and wore with such pride the ring from the man she loved more than life itself.

They were just hands you might say, but no, you would be wrong. These were gifts. Gifts, that had I known were about to slip through my hands, I would have held more tightly and spent much more time cherishing.

When was the last time you took someone you loved by the hand and just said, "I love you so much?" What are you waiting for? A lot can change in your life in less than 100 hours.

How do we say Goodbye?

She Loved

Where to begin?

As I said in my welcome statement this is a new experience for me. I know that all things happen for a purpose. My faith also causes me to hold on to the fact that even the things that appear senseless... in time, Gods time, can still turn out for good. There are no accidents with God. So I guess this is where our journey begins.

I'm sure you probably have one of those friends that can finish your sentences or tell the waiter exactly how burned you like your bacon. You know the one that calls when you are in the middle of a big pity party and tells you to "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!" that friend. The one that can pop in when you are still in your pj's with bed head and you never even think about pretending not to be home. You just answer the door and hear some scarcastic remark about what kind of new do are you trying to pull off with that hair. You know the one. Most everyone of us have one. I did.

While all the world kept spinning and cars contiuned to drive and planes still flew overhead and people were walking and talking....my world stopped the minute I stepped off the elevator and her daughter said, "I'm sorry, we lost her." Lost her??? Like she's running around in this hospital giving some doctor grief lost her? Or she checked out to get to the spa because she got mad you made her take off her toe nail polish before surgery lost her? What kind of "lost her" do you mean exactly?

This is my journey right now. For whatever reason it appears I have been introduced to the world of blogging, God only knows. I'm not an English major and did not even finish college so what you read and what I say are just real live feelings. Saying that, I'm sure you won't read very far until you find a type O or something that is not "correct grammer" as my daughter so often likes to say. That's ok. I'm not turning this in to my English professor. I'm not turning it in to anyone. I'm just sharing my heart and dealing for the very first time in my 45 years with a very sudden loss of my very best friend. As words come I'll continue on this journey.